Sometimes I'm so smart I scare myself

Sometimes I'm so smart I scare myself.

I know that you're probably thinking "wow, that's a remarkably arrogant statement you're making...dick." Sure, I understand that reaction considering that it's an expression that many of you had heard before. Also, it's important to remember that any person who is actually intelligent knows better than to tell people they are intelligent. If you do, you'll forever be burdened by people calling you a "know it all" for anything you say or worse they try to prove they are just as smart by constantly debating you or correcting you (often with completely wrong information). But I digress.

Most of you are likely not looking at my comment in the literal sense which it was intended. I mean to say that I literally scare myself when something smart unexpectedly comes out of my mouth.

As an example, if we're watching Jeopardy and I'm happily answering along with the contestants I'm perfectly fine until one of my kids points it out. As soon as the words "Dad how do you know all this stuff?" hits my ears it sends me into a tail spin. I don't know why I am a fount of useless trivia? Could I be an android who thinks he's really human but it turns out he was just programmed to think he's real? Could I be like John Travolta in Phenomenon where he's gets super smart because of a cosmic flash he sees in the sky but it turns out to be a terminal brain tumor. Could I be smart from a brain tumor too? Oh crap do I have a terminal brain tumor!?!

I guess you can see where this is leading. I underestimate myself most of the time, and I might be slightly paranoid.

But I'm writing this to make a point not just to (hopefully) get a laugh from some of you. I've always wanted my life to be an example of determination and ironclad proof of what faith and optimism can overcome. Other days I realize that my life is dangerously close to being a "cautionary tale" that people can use to steer their kids in the right direction.

My point is this, I may forget that I am intelligent because my life and career don't demand that I use my greater faculties. But my IQ has not changed, and it's there to use if I want to.

I've learned that your circumstances in life can wear you down. A daily grind at a McJob and living paycheck to paycheck is all too familiar to a lot of people. Even a good life at home raising children or a decent job supporting your family can wear us down or make us too busy to remember our dreams or our talents.

I am actually acting in a play. A real play, that is intelligently written and we have a great director too. I am acting with an incredibly talented cast who were, thankfully, kind and welcoming to someone as inexperienced as I am. Acting in this play has been a blast and best of all, I don't suck at it. (Yes, I understand that this is dangerously close to humblebragging but I am getting to a point, I promise.)

It took a good friend of mine to convince me to go out and audition. I no longer saw that talent in myself, but she did. I also thought it was selfish to take time away from my family, but they're actually proud of me and happy to see me doing it. Do the people that count on you want you to be unhappy? Of course not. It never occurred to me before but what better lesson can I teach my children than to do something to make myself better. Besides, don't the people you love deserve the best version of you?

Take few minutes every week to remember the things you are good at, the things you enjoy doing, and the things that bring you bliss. Then do something shocking...find time to do them. Talents may get rusty if they are unused but they will never go away.

Every life is a story. Don't judge your life based on the chapter you are in. Start writing the next chapter yourself...and don't take as long a George R R Martin.

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'." - Erma Bombeck