Vague Booking - This is the incredibly annoying and passive aggressive act of posting an intentionally vague Facebook status update. Typically prompting people to respond to ask if they are alright. You can't go a week without someone posting a status of "why do my 'friends' talk behind back and backstab me" or something similar. I've taken to responding with an apology because I know damn well they know who they are talking about and it's not me, but my confession should be a very unpleasant surprise. I figure if enough of us respond that way they'll stop or at least be more direct about their complaints. Image a post like that and twenty people responding with "sorry, but we were all sick of your shit"
The Humblebrag - We all have wonderful things happen to us sometimes and sharing is perfectly fine, so Humblebragging doesn't apply to everyone. Maybe it's just vanity, but we all want to feel valued and important, and we want others to share in our accomplishments. Sometimes when the real world doesn’t come through with enough praise for some people, they take to Facebook to look for more. The humblebrag is also sort of a sneaky way of bragging without just straight-forward boasting. Honestly, I can respect a good honest success story, but when someone does the "I'm so tired after running 5 miles and my fastest time ever, LOL". Well, the urge to respond with "your Father would still be disappointed with you" is a little overwhelming at times. Jesus people, just be honest.
Blatantly inaccurate posts - This actually applies mostly to politics but not always. Ok, I'm going to lay this out once, plain and simple. If you follow this advice, not only will you win the internet, but people will stop unfriending you. Ok, ready because this is important, here it is.
There is exactly ZERO things in this world that will force people to only put true things on the internet. Even the slowest typist will only take seconds to open a second browser tab and use Google to fact check something before they post it.
If you get your political news from a site with the words "conservative" "progressive" or "liberal" in the title you can pretty much guarantee it's not a legitimate news outlet. This is not rocket science, it's people with an agenda preying on people who share their beliefs. This advice also goes for miracle diets and exercises that defy logic. Eating more cucumbers is not going to cure my diabetes.
Life is wonderful...always Just like humblebraggers, we all have good things in our lives that we like to share. This is a good thing. But not in excess. Some people just feel compelled to post constantly about how wonderful their lives are, and only how wonderful their lives are. Not just wonderful, but better than everyone else. It's social media people, not a marketing campaign. Everytime I read about how someone saying they have the best husband ever because he made her and their one child dinner I die a little inside. It's that much worse if they tag it with a "feeling blessed" emoji. Again the urge to respond is overwhelming. Just once i would like to reply with "Well, I spent twelve years cooking for my three kids and my disabled wife, I can only aspire to be as great as your Adonis of a husband". But sarcasm is lost on some people so there is the alternative, but it's a little offensive. But I do love offensive...
I'd love to simply tag them and post "Feeling so blessed right now! #bestblowjobever #sheswallowed"
It would be worth getting unfriended.
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