It's just the way that we were

How do you sum up a lifelong friendship in a single conversation? How do I explain the person I called my "brother from another mother" for several decades? Whatever I write, whatever wordsmith skills I have, simply won't do it justice. I don't know how to, but I'll try.

I just know that I can state with absolute certainty that this world, in it's current sad state, has lost one of it's best people at a time when it needs people like him the most.

We met in seventh grade at South Seminole Middle School. I believe the year was actually 1982. I don't know why he befriended me, I was moody and 12, but he did. He also introduced me to another life long friend, Ken Cattafi, that year and my own personal three amigos was formed before the movie with the same name came out.

I tell people that Jose was my best friend, but my wording can be misleading if you don't understand my definition of the word. I have been blessed with many good friends in my life whom I consider my best friends. On my worst days I know that have good people who care about me and would help me in a heartbeat if I asked and I would do the same.

But I say he was my best friend it's because he was simply the best at being the exact friend I needed when I needed it. He was there for so many important parts of my life, good or bad, without fail. He would pick me up when I needed moral support, and be brutally honest when I was about to make a stubborn or bullheaded mistake. All without judgement. I spent a lot of time trying to live up to the person that he believed that I could be.

He is one of those truly rare people that everyone likes, because he is genuine and really cares about people. You can't fake that and people can tell if you are. This is why he was, and still is, loved by so many people.

I always tell the story about how we went to New Orleans for Mardi Gras one year and the first restaurant we went to we ran into someone who knew him. I just kept asking him "how is it we're in another freaking state and people still know who you are?!"

That past few years we have been different. We've had pretty much the exact interaction every time we see each other. He sees me and acts completely shocked that I actually got out of the house. He then gives me several minutes of grief about never seeing him. I then in turn would respond by telling him that once again he didn't tell me that he had been in the hospital again and give him several minutes of grief about it.

It's all just a dance of course, we're guys and we won't just say out loud that we love, miss and worry about each other.

Here's the part that has always confused me. With as many people that like him, as popular as he was and with all the friends that he had, why do I mean that much to him? Why does he miss me when he has so much else in his life? I always walk away wondering what the hell does he see in me that I don't?

This may seem like a self centered turn, but I am actually getting to a point. There are very few bonds in this life that mean this much. Many people are genuinely lucky to have a single friendship like this in a lifetime. When that person leaves us there is a deep gaping hole left in your soul that you don't think can ever be filled again.

There is a lesson here, treasure the time you have with your friends and family because all the minutes count. I think of Jose and remember him as my best man. I remember singing "Paradise by the Dashboard light" at the top of our lungs at 4 in the morning after drinking all night. I also remember sitting around doing absolutely nothing because it was so much better than doing nothing alone.

I remember the last text he sent me "don't know why but hearing cult of personality and thought of you. Hello"

The last time I saw him, I told him that I loved him, I told him that I always miss him and that I now had proof that I was right to worry about him. I'm glad I said it.

It was all great memories, even the bad times, because I had a friend with me that I knew would always be with me. I was wrong about that. But his memory and friendship will always be with me. And I know he's in a better place now.

I still love him, still miss him, but I don't have to worry about him anymore.